Cabbage Patch Dolls....

Someone mentioned these on a forum I am on, and I figured I ought to share. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. And sometimes it is worth taking an eraser to your memory...

So wrong in... so many, many ways....

Haunted Houses and Other Things

On Saturday the 25th, I went to a haunted house. Only, it wasn't a haunted house, it was a haunted trail, in which there were some houselike structures. Actually, there was one structure that was done up like a house, and there were people in it who apparently wanted to eat me. Somehow a haunted place that looks like it was once normal is creepier than something that never should have looked normal. There were clowns, too, and demonic Oompa-Loompas... the 70s film version, not the 2000-whatever one. There were these furry things or tree-y things walking alonmg the trail too, and you couldn't always tell where the real people had gotten to. It was most excellent.

Sometimes I feel sorry for clowns. Well, the people playing clowns. Because I don't know anyone who likes clowns. Most people I know think clowns are creepy. I think clowns are creepy. Well, I think clowns who are normal and not evil cannibalistic soul-sucking night-lurking clowns are creepy. The evil clowns are just downright scary. But, anyway, so, the non-evil clowns, I mean, those are real people, and probably really nice people, under all that makeup. But they're creepy anyway. Poor clowns.

I noticed something about carrots on Saturday, too. Carrots taste different, depending on the end you bite. One is sweet, the other a bit more earthy. It was quite surprising, and very tasty. I bit into one end, then the other, to mix the flavors together. I don't think I've ever really so intently noticed the taste of carrots before.

I'll post more when I think of it.

How to Have a Presidential Debate

Moderator: So, the first question is, "Can you answer a simple question with a direct answer?" This one goes first to you, Senator McCain.

Senator McCain: Well, first of all, let me than you for moderating, and thank you to the school who is allowing us to be here, oh, and hi, Senator Obama. And speaking of Senator Obama, I want you to understand that, in his eloquence, he never does manage to answer a question. No. His non-answers will raise your taxes, but he still does not answer. In fact, he has associations with some of the most unrepentant non-answerers of questions the USA has seen, and we need to know about the full extent of these affiliations.

Moderator: Senator Obama?

Senator Obama: It is a pleasure to be here thanks to you and to the generosity of the school, and it is wonderful seeing you again, Senator McCain. Now, I could talk about the non-answering of questions, but that is not what the American people want to know about. Their questions haven't been answered for years, and this mean-spirited campaigning isn't answering them. Now, my plan calls for a full answering of questions, with a tax break for the smaller companies, while Senator McCain only carries on President Bush's failed policy of non-answering.

Moderator: (Blinking.) So... uh...

Senator Obama: In a debate? While campaigning? No, don't count on it.

Returning from hiatus...

Sorry I've been gone a while. First, my Cubbies lost three games straight in the playoffs to get knocked out... after their first three games. I had been all prepared to blog the playoffs, and the World Series, but no. No, they got knocked out dismally, and I decided to take a few days off, because my blog would have contained a lot of Naughty Words which, while I do use them in my vocabulary on occassion, I am trying to keep out of the blog, in case anyone of a younger age ever decides to read my ramblings. So, I took a few days off. Then I got this horrid cold, which I still have, and it really made me uninterested in much of anything but sleep.

In consequence, I have a lot of ramblings going through my head. The trick is knowing where to begin.

Oh, I think I'll start with politics. Or, sort of politics. I've decided that I want Tina Fey to play ME on Saturday Night Live. Granted, I don't know WHY she would play me, not yet, as I'm not famous, and not likely to become famous for any reason that I can think of. However, I am open to suggestion, so please feel free to make any. Maybe she could do a sketch playing me as the Ferret Lady, which is better than being the Crazy Cat Lady, which is just creepy, even though I adore cats. (I adore dogs, too, but that's for later in the post.) All I have to do as the Ferret Lady is to walk my ferret outside on a leash and let people (especially children) pet her. Now I'm the Ferret Lady, which is cool. I also kind of thought it would be cool to be the person everyone said not to go near her house, in case she turned you into anything. That would be cool. I could combine the two, and then I could just turn people into ... ferrets. And then Tina Fey could play me on SNL. See, mom? I DO have goals and ambitions!!

I don't think my mom is reading this blog anyway.

I took my ferret for a walk today, and again was just amazed by the wonder that the world seems to hold for her. She loves life and loves to relish in it. She looks so happy rolling in a patch of clover that it makes me want to join her. She looks so happy scampering down the street that I just have to chase her, letting her catch me sometimes. That little, scarcely-audible chuckle-grunt of hers, the little "dook-dook-dook", just sounds like she's laughing to herself. Yes, even half-hour baths that she decides I must have while cuddling up under my chin are so irresistible. I have to say, it is so NICE being the Ferret Lady.

I had a dog for thirteen and a half years. His name was Stormy, and he was a wonderful dog. He was half-malamute and half-lab, and he knew how to pull a sled and how to tackle me into a snowbank and sit on me. He was terrified of thunder and phobic about garden hoses. He guarded me diligently, and his favorite pastime was snuggling with me. I have his ashes sitting on my fireplace mantel and it is kind of nice to think that in some way he is still watching over me. I just was reminded of him quite forcibly when someone shared this video with me. I will pass it on to you. Whatever your politics, whatever you feel about the Iraq War or war in general, I think that this video will still touch your heart.

Dogs Greet Soldier After 14 Months In Iraq